who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Randomize
