have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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