I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
