The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
