Don't you send me to vm
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
