hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
