i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
