so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
