I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
