I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
