it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
