Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
