So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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