I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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