so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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