you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
