Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
