who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
