yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
