her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
