so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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