she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
