Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
