you would pick up someone in the library
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
