Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
