Already got asked if we're dating
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
