if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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