Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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