she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
high people should be assigned attendants
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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