I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
