I have demons in me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize