sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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