did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
