6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize