I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You can't just leave with hair like that
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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