Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize