He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
