im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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