Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im holly from the hills drunk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
