i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
