I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
