Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He did a backflip because drugs
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