And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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