Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
