when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
