holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
