Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
