Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
