they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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