I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
