So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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