i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
