OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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