I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
