How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
