shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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