I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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