one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
