Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
