You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
