I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
operation have a gay friend backfired
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize