a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
