therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
