The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
