I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
